Helen

In our previous guest and host theology blogs we’ve discussed what hospitality is, talked about the role of guest and host, about the power dynamics within those roles, and about how we’ve experienced being guests and being hosts. So I’d like to shift the conversation now to look at what we’ve learned and how it impacts on a theology of inclusion and belonging, specifically through a lens on disabled people and their experience of church.

As far as we know, most people in churches embrace the concept of including people with disabilities, but often we don’t know the best way to do this. So I’d like to pose this question: Assuming we want to move church culture away from treating disability as a special project or a checklist, and towards viewing disabled people as essential part of the body of Christ, what is the difference between an accessible church and a church being a place where people truly belong?

Craig

I think I want to start in 1 Corinthians 12. It’s quite a long passage, some of which we know well and other bits I’ve never heard anybody speak convincingly on.

So it says “… on the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts we think are less honourable we treat with special honour, and the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, whilst the presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together giving greater honour to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.”

So Paul is saying very clearly that everybody’s included even if we try to exclude ourselves or each other. And that we’re all needed because every gift is essential. But then there’s that extra layer to it where we discover that “God gives greater honour to the parts that other people exclude”. Also, there’s the word ‘unpresentable’ in there, which Paul must be telling us is a human judgment. It certainly isn’t a judgment that God makes.

When you think of our physical bodies, there are parts that we cover up, and it’s different for females and males. So, on a beach, women will cover two parts of their bodies, whereas men only cover one part. But men have breasts as well. What is it about what makes one part unpresentable and other parts presentable? There are cultural reasons why Northern Europeans cover different parts of their bodies on a beach, and the male eye, sex and shame are all in the mix.The point I am making is that there is no inherent reason why breasts and genitals are unpresentable.

And what Paul is saying goes even deeper than this. He says that we need the people who seem to be weaker, seem to be less honourable or less presentable. Now that to me is a profound statement. So we live in a (mostly) tolerant culture which declares that others are allowed to be different and we’ll ‘put up with them’. Most churches have taken a further step to becoming inclusive – making the declaration that others can ‘belong’, although many people experience the limits to true belonging when certain beliefs develop beyond certain boundaries. But Paul uses the word ‘honour’, and honour means: ‘I need what you bring’. The purpose of that, according to the passage, is mutual transformation: your presence changes what this community becomes and we want to live in this kind of community. 

This forces me to ask the question, “what if God isn’t interested in protecting a settled social order but in questioning it”? People who are weak can’t pretend we’re strong. We can’t pretend that we don’t struggle to fit in. And our position at the edge often causes us to ask different questions because we are forced to view reality from a different angle. If this is uncomfortable, maybe that fear is protecting us from the wrong thing. Humans are naturally afraid of change, but willingness to change is the only way we can find a path to human flourishing and growth. Maybe that’s why the weaker people are actually needed.

James

I’m picking up on that ‘fear’ word and the way Paul writes ‘on the contrary, the members of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable.’ Part of me, when I encounter someone who has some form of limitation, is afraid. There’s a fear inside me – initially of the difference and also whether I will do something wrong. I’ve got over the feeling that I need to provide the answer, but I suspect I’ve seen people who feel the strong need to provide the answer to people who are different, bringing them to where they are rather than meeting them at their point of vulnerability, if you see what I mean. So the journey that we make in those relationships is, I think, often the wrong way. We go in the wrong direction.

Helen

I would suggest that probably the reason that we often go in the wrong direction is because we don’t know if it’s okay to ask somebody who’s different to us what they need. I think there’s a desire to be polite which ends up with us being unhelpful. If we felt comfortable with saying to somebody “I see your difference, I don’t know what it’s like for you. Please, can you explain to me?” What do I need to know or how I can be most – I’m going to say helpful, and that’s not really what I mean – how can I understand you better in order to include you best? I think often the power then turns to the person with a disability because we need them to tell us. What it is like to be them. And we need to be open to be vulnerable enough to ask. Possibly to get it wrong. And to be corrected.

Julie

I’m mindful that the next chapter is the famous chapter 13 where Paul writes about love. It is written to this body of people: the body of Christ. And we remember what he defines love as; love is patient, love is kind, it’s not jealous, it keeps no record of wrongs… So weaving that through what you’ve just said, Helen, if we could have those conversations in that atmosphere of love, it would help. Conversations where we can ask questions and where we all have that ‘slow to be offended, quick to forgive’ attitude that comes with the kind of love that Paul describes in chapter 13. I think that sounds lovely! How lovely would our churches be if that’s what it was like? If we could have those conversations and not be worried about offending; to try to be sensitive and also exhibit all the grace that comes from God so that we can learn from each other about all these things: not just the theology, but also how to properly relate and love in that way.

Helen

This is just the beginning as we think deeply about disability and hospitality. In the next blog we will ask questions about how our churches can move from a ‘compliance mindset’ where we are wiling to put up ramps or provide a sensory room, to a ‘relationship mindset’ where true belonging becomes the goal.