Roy 

I’m old enough to remember when choosing which radio station to listen to or TV programme to watch was so simple. Not so today. Streamed, recorded, live – the choices are endless. Choice is the order of the day. But how do we choose faced with so many choices? The paradox of choice. Having the freedom to choose doesn’t automatically lead to the best decisions. So I’m keen for us to spend time talking together about how we discern and decide, not just which channel we’re going to tune into but in every area of life.

Whilst I long to experience feelings of certainty, the truth is that they are few and far between. Life is far too complex to be governed by simplistic, often naïve so-called certainties. There are a whole host of factors that influence, both consciously and unconsciously, my discerning and decision-making process. My decisions are fed through a matrix made up of genes, upbringing, experiences of life, outlooks and persuasions, preferences and prejudices, biases, the company I keep, the things I read, listen to, and what I encounter in people who are like me and those who are so different from me. 

Simon

Wow. Even the word discernment sounds exhausting, doesn’t it? Roy, I feel your pain! There’s really no denying the fact that listening well, thinking deeply and living authentically is more costly in the moment than following our impulse, going with the crowd or taking direction from an authority figure. But we do not live only in the moment, we live with the decisions that we make for the rest of our lives. No one at the Nuremberg Trials was let off with a defence of ‘It felt right at the time’, ‘Everyone was doing it’ or ‘I was only obeying orders’. I realise that’s an extreme example, but right now there are people trying to make decisions in similar environments. In the end, making decisions without discernment is likely to lead to a lifetime of regret.

All across the world, we can see people yearning for an imagined past world of certainty. Some imagine that world as being in the 1950s, others go much further back, to a time when only a few chosen men made the decisions. We have split personalities: we long for freedom but the responsibility can be crippling, tempting us to give ourselves over to the crowd or to authorities who can provide the direction and certainty we want.

There are some great shortcuts to good discernment. One is to be part of a community of people who know you and love you enough to challenge you. And I don’t mean a single, homogenous community, but rather people who might see things differently. Another is to develop good habits of prayer and reflection so that your impulses become closer to God’s impulses.

I love that Paul says that the way to honour prophecy is to ‘test everything’ (1Thess 5:21). The work of discernment is not first of all about doing what’s best for me, but about tuning in to what God is doing, so we can join in. It is definitely not easy, especially in the current climate. I look forward to learning from each of you.

Julie

Discernment is all about making choices. As an individual I make choices about all kinds of things, and it feels that in some areas – as Roy has outlined – we have more choice than ever before!

At home, I make choices every day about what to eat, what to watch, what to read – and then there are bigger decisions to be made, such as where to go on holiday, and which is the best option when a household gadget needs replacing.

As a mother, I have helped my children (now both in their 20s) make choices, including navigating issues around friendships (which can be particularly challenging for most teenagers!) and choices about their education – which subjects to study and, when it came to universities, where to study.  

As a church leader, I make choices about how I spend my time – which aspects of ministry are my priorities? I also try to help the church make choices about how we use our resources to serve the local community and to help people respond to Jesus’ call to follow him.

So, with all these choices in mind, I’m looking forward to exploring how my faith impacts these different areas, and I come wondering, when does discernment become overthinking? And, how much of discernment is about the timing of a decision, rather than the outcome?

Craig

Last week a friend of mine sent me a free link to an article from The Times on the selection of the next Pope. Never one to resist a friendly dig, he wrote:

“But I thought God would be communicating with these cardinals ……why is he giving them all different mixed messages about who should be His representative on earth!? They all say they pray for HIS guidance etc etc?

Naughty scallywag [name redacted]! 😉😇😂😂😂 I’m so sorry- can’t resist.”

I replied:

“You’ve obviously not seen Conclave! A great film. Each of these guys actually believe they know God’s will better than the others – who aren’t listening themselves of course!”

The most important thing to be constantly aware of is the alarming degree to which decisions we either choose or feel driven, obliged or ‘led’ to make, are likely to be influenced by inner drives we may be largely unaware of. The dialogue above reminds us that the way we balance our view of God, self and others will also have a profound impact on the way we make decisions.

The WWJD acronym was popular when my children were teenagers and I think both of them wore the wristband. It didn’t take long for the mockers to render it uncool, but whatever its weaknesses I think it was a helpful reminder that following Jesus requires a degree of intentionality, and that it can actually be incredibly difficult to discern what Jesus would do in scenarios we might face every day but are alien to the culture he lived and moved in.

It is my firm belief that discernment happens best in community. It is my experience that a group of friends who care for each other, and are committed to openness and a certain degree of voluntary vulnerability, is ideal. One of the most helpful environments I have experienced is what we used to call a ‘huddle’. The most important element of the huddle is that all of us genuinely wanted to process promptings we felt the Spirit was challenging us to explore. Each huddle session has a standard format, beginning with observing what is stirring, reflecting on what it might mean and discussing our thoughts and feelings with the group. The second half of the process is to make a plan, reminding ourselves what Jesus says about those who are only hearers but not doers. We might then choose to build a degree of accountability into the process, along with a commitment to step out and change a pattern of thinking or take a step that is a challenge.

Dave

“I have not lost my way – it is just that so many ways open before me that sometimes I hardly know which way to choose. To decide for one is to decide against another. I never imagined it would be this hard…

…Now you know. The higher a person’s call and vision, the more choices are given to them. This is our work in creation: to decide. And what we decide is woven into the thread of time and being for ever. Choose wisely, then, but choose you must.”

Merlin by Stephen Lawhead

One of the features of modern living in our western society is a multiplicity of choice…so much choice. This brings with it the necessity to make so many decisions, and sometimes we are just overwhelmed by the sheer number that navigating life requires us to make…and overload can so easily lead us to go for the easy options, the ones we don’t have to think too deeply about.

Much of life is lived out in the territory of grey, rather than in the black and white polar regions of certainties of all kinds. Polarised thinking is one of the curses of the age, bringing with it a rampant tribalism and combative approach to life in general and decision making in particular, as we exist in the echo chambers of social media that confirm our bias and prejudice.

Certainly, as I have grown older I have become more aware of how difficult it can be to gather the necessary virgin facts that would make the decision making process so much easier (maybe!). None of us are blank slates, we bring so much history from our culture and family to our worldview and the decision-making process.

And I have also discovered that decision making adopts a new complexity, even for a follower of Jesus, especially one committed to Listening Well, Thinking Deeply and Living Authentically…unless, of course, you believe in a micromanaging God. When you are actively trying to understand perspectives alien to your own, and even to respect the person whilst disagreeing with the perspective, it adds more layers to our decision making, especially if others will be directly affected by the choices we make.

Like Craig, I am convinced that good community is a gift to help us make good decisions, but the emphasis must be on ‘good’ (defining that is an article in itself). Sometimes we find ourselves having to swim against the flow of our communities…neighbourhoods, families, workplaces and churches… as we strive to make affirming, biblical and Christlike choices.

I have been a companion of the Northumbria Community for many years, and have found that our Rule of Life offers much wisdom as we negotiate the stormy waters of decision making and life choices.

Intentionally embracing a rule of Availability to God and to others, encourages both a contemplative and caring approach to decision making. The rule of Vulnerability calls on me to be teachable, to be prepared to take the heretical imperative of asking status-quo-challenging questions while putting relationships ahead of reputation. This rule of life has provided a structured, Godly context for life and decision making.

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In this series on discernment, we’re going to explore what we mean by the word and think deeply about the influences that shape and govern our discerning. In the Scout movement, they talk about the need to ‘Be Prepared’. I hope that you will journey with us as we look at the processes and practices that help us to be wise in our discerning. 

Jesus taught his disciples to pray gave them a model prayer which includes the phrase, “Your will be done, here on earth as in heaven”. But how do we know what the will of God is? How do we hear God and listen to the leading of the Spirit? To know the mind of Christ, both individually and collectively and so be responsive and obedient to God’s will. We might then pray with greater authenticity, “Your will be done here on earth as it is in heaven.”